1. Each Wave
featuring Alfred James on cello, Nora Hartlaub on bass.
I grew up sailing with my father. One beautiful day, we sailed 9 hours from Belhaven to Ocracoke island, NC. (This was right before I moved there). I started writing this song under way in the Pamlico Sound, and finished it up on the Ocracoke public docks.

The ocean is my home,
This land is just temporary.
I go there all alone,
It brings me back, back to me.

The water never sits still.
Like myself, always changing.
My feet dangling off of the bow-
Singing this song to the wind and the sea.

Chorus:
All my troubles just crash away
With each wave that swims to shore.
And all my problems, they fly away
In this salty breezy air.

Sailing out to the sea,
Chasing the sun before it falls.
The wind up against your face,
The land disappears for miles & miles….

Returning to the shore,
Finding dock space is a talent for sure.
Walking on unsteady sea legs,
Parties and lights and the music on board.

Chorus (2x)

2. Love in Yourself
featuring Ryan Cavanaugh on banjo
2 guys friends of mine cried to me about ‘girl troubles’ in the same day. It was so sad, so this song just sort of poured out of me for them. While I was on Ocracoke recording this on ‘Risky Business’, I went to a party and a bunch of us were jamming on the porch. I met Ryan and literally dragged him back to the boat @ 4 am because I really wanted him to do the banjo track to this song….we were really drunk, but he’s such an amazing banjoist, one would never know!

Sometimes people go and you can’t explain why,
But you can’t let them hold you back
And you can’t let life pass you by.
And you’ve gotta grieve your losses
And let love make you stronger
Because love is beautiful when you let it go.
And there’s nothing here to hold onto
Until you find arms to fall into.
But if you don’t find love from someone else
You can always find it in yourself.

Sometimes it’s easy to see the darkness all around,
To get lost in what others think,
To let others get you down.
But there’s beauty all around us
We can’t focus on the bad things
Because life is beautiful when we let it go.
And there’s nothing here to hold onto
except love when it finds you,
but if you don’t find love from someone else,
you can always find it in yourself.

And there’s nothing here to hold onto
Until you find arms to fall into,
But if you don’t find love from someone else-
You can always
Find it in yourself.
Find love in yourself.

3. All Worth It
featuring Caleb Jacobs on guitar, Doug Leal on drums
I was visiting my mom in England when this song was written (on her beautiful bathroom floor). I was kind of bummed out about a guy, ya know-the classic I want him but he doesn’t want me bullshit love game we all play. But I refused to be sad about it, and then moved way past it by the end of the song. Life is way too short to be sad or harp about what we don’t have, what if this second was our last? Got to live in the now, and give each day every thing we’ve got!

Well, I can always sing a sad song,
But today I’m gonna be positive.
And I can always harp about what went wrong,
But today I’m looking at the bright side.
So I’m gonna milk each second
For all that it’s worth.
And I’m not gonna be confused
About the beauty here on Earth.

Chorus:
Cuz I could never be what you wanted
No matter how hard I tried,
And you could never be what I needed
Because you never wanted to try.
But I won’t be sad
As long as there’s breath in my lungs.
And I’m not gonna be down
As long as there’s health in my body.
Life’s gonna knock you down,
Stand strong and firm in your faith.
And don’t take unwanted burdens,
Let pain roll off your chest

Chorus

Cuz anyone can sing a sad song,
But today lets try to be positive.
Cuz what if this was our last second-
We’ve got to make it all worth it!!

We’ve got to make it all worth it-
We can’t let life bring us down.
Lets make it all worth it!

4. Cold Ones
featuring Nora Hartlaub on bass& vocals
This song was drunkenly born one evening when Nora and I (BFF at the time) were sitting on our front porch on Ocracoke playing music. We played for like 5 hours straight. Nora was missing her best friends from Ohio: the band ‘the new lou reeds’. So we both wrote this tune for them. (and yes, I kinda liked the drummer).

Falling in love with a stranger,
Can some one tell me
Oh darling how, how, how?
You caught me eye with no warning,
Your soul was crying out to me, me me.
Oh my darlin’s from Ohio,
Please stay.
Just stay for one more day.

Stay for one more day
Cuz I love you and I want you in my life.
And if you leave now, darling I fear that
We will be strangers,
And I don’t want to lose you.
So just stay in my life,
I’m just drinkin’ a cold one for you.
And when you leave now
Rock out the next town and be safe.
But please stay for one more day.
I’m eating a stewed tomato for you.

Home sick for great friends
Can you tell me when will we meet again?
When will we meet again?
Cuz our friends and family are all we have in this world,
So when will we meet again?
Stay for one more day.

Stay for one more day
Cuz I love you and I want you in my life.
And if you leave now, darling I fear that
We will be strangers,
And I don’t want to lose you.
So just stay in my life,
I’m just drinkin’ a cold one for you.
And when you leave now
Rock out the next town and be safe.
But please stay for one more day. (2x)

5. breaking free
just a poem I wrote on Ocracoke…a good reminder

I want to be free from time, from gravity, from my body.
I want to float, soar through the sky,
Leap from cloud to cloud.
I want to be free from lust, from money,
From this world as we know it.
Get rid of all the rules & regulations,
All the lies and the temptations.
I want to break free from being lured in
, From being lied to, from deciphering dialect,
Trying to figure out who is real verses who says they are real
Words are just words are just words…..

I want to break free from the bonds of organizations,
From planning, from obligations,
Do things because I want to, not because I’m supposed to.
I want to be free from holding myself back,
From torturing myself, from stapling my hands & feet
To the floor silently punishing myself
For fear of happiness and true bliss.
I want to be free from such intense emotions,
From losing myself in a word called love,
From getting wrapped up in such unimportant things,
From wasting time.
I want to break free from myself, my mind,
My thoughts, still all the voices and just relax….
I want to break free.

6. Our Generation
featuring Nora Hartlaub on bass, Emily Devan on cello
This song deals with the divorce of my parents and being raised by my mom. The divorce rate in America (the last time I checked) is 60%. I just wish more people could stay together and work it out; not give up. It seems if people did what they loved, what they believed in, they would be happier, thus more satisfied in their marriage. At the same time, there are no guarantees in life, so we owe it to ourselves to do what we love and be happy either way. Whatever happens: we’ll be ok.

I got dressed today and thought maybe I’d
Meet the one that knocks the socks off my feet.
So I put on my ripped up shorts,
Threw on my stained tank top
To show off my tattoos.
Don’t have time for make-up,
Don’t know how to put it on,
Don’t have time for hairspray,
Don’t know how to fix my hair.
That someone special’s gonna want me for me,
And not just what they see.

I gotta bad habit of trying to re-live the 1st 5 years of my life.
There was lots of fighting and even more hatred
Between the 2 adults around me.
They tried to stay together for the sake of me,
Couldn’t work together no matter how they tried,
But I never doubted how much they love & cared for me (2x).
Our generation raised by a single mom working hard for her family.
With all of the fathers jipped out of their kids life
When the judge sides with the wife.
We all cry and sing the same sappy tunes,
We all learn to dance around all the rules,
We are taught to flee instead of trying to work things out.
We are taught to flee instead of trying to make things right.
We need to work together to break the cycle of our life. (3x)

Sometimes it’s hard not to get caught up
in all the bullshit from day to day.
Cuz life is hard, that much is clear,
But it’s what you do that saves the day.
You can pass the time being told what to do
Or you can pass the time doing what you love,
It’s your life and you have no one but you to answer to.
So get it together and do what you love to do.
It doesn’t matter if anyone else approves
It doesn’t matter if they approve,
Just get it together and do what you love to do.
Lord, I know it will be all right…..

7. No Drama
featuring Steve Magliano on the harmonica
I was fighting with my roommate when this little ditty popped in my head. That inspired the song, but it’s more about living in a tiny town and dealing with people constantly talking trash about everyone. I try to stay far away from drama. That’s one of the reasons I live on a boat.

What a beautiful day out at the sea.
Until I heard people talking trash about me.
Now I came out here to relax
Just trying to chill and just lay back.
I don’t want no drama from anyone here around me.

Now folks can feel how they want about me.
They won’t get a reaction,
I won’t let them control me.
It’s so easy to get mad,
Bent out of shape, so uptight.
Someone’s got a problem with me,
But I won’t make it mine.
I don’t want to be mad-just happy.
I don’t want to feel sad,
I just want to feel free.

I’m out here alone,
Out at the sea.
I hear no one talking,
And that just sounds so good to me
Cuz I came out here to relax
Just trying to chill and just lay back.
I don’t want no drama from anyone here around me.
I don’t want to be mad-just happy.
I don’t want to feel sad,
I just want to feel free.

8. High Cost
started off writing for one dude, then it flowed into another by the end.

I want you in my life.
I want to see you everyday.
I want to feel your arms around me.
I want you to stay.
But my love comes at a high cost baby.

Cuz I’m surrounded by darkness.
But deep inside I’m a good girl.
I’m trying to peel these layers of hurt off.
And deal with each of them and then burn them.
Cuz I’m tired of ghosts coming and haunting me
I’m trying to set them free..
It’s breaking me
My love for you is breaking me.

You never took the time to get to know me.
You never got past the fact that I hurt you.
I want you to know that I’m sorry.
I let a really good thing,
I just let it go.
And I feel the hurt pouring inside of me.

And I don’t blame you for staying clear of me.
In fact it might be the wisest thing you’ve ever done.
Cuz my love comes at a high cost baby,
My love comes at a high cost babe.

9. No Guarantees
featuring Caleb Jacobs on electric guitar
Love can hurt badly sometimes, and I was taking a chance on this guy I moved in with after being pretty much single for 4 years. I was scared because I didn’t know if he really loved me….(It took me a year and a half to find out he didn’t)…But I was happy to be in love at the time…

I want to believe so badly that how we feel is real,
I want to believe the words that we say
More than anything I want to love somebody,
More than anything I want to be loved.
I’ve been lied to, beat down and left here broken hearted
And there’s no guarantees in this life.

So be gentle with me and I’ll love you forever,
Just please don’t mess with my heart.
Yes I’m taking a chance on love once again.
I’m so scared to love but more scared to not.
I believe I deserve a good man who’ll treat me right,
And I don’t to hurt anymore,
And I don’t want to hurt anyone.

There’s nothing money can buy me.
I could use some good loven.
You see I just got so much love inside of me.
I just want to give it to someone who’s worthy of me.

Come and go as you please,
No I am not a prison.
Theres no guarantees in this life
But I’ll fill you with my love inside.

10. Everyday is a Gift featuring Caleb Jacobs on electric guitar & bass, Steve Magliano on harmonica
I was on the ferry leaving Ocracoke heading to Swan Quarter when this one poured out. I was over whelmed and crying in my car, but felt happy. Marcy Brenner of Coyote really inspired this song with her contagious joy and positivity.

No I don’t have anything to prove today,
All I want to do is see you smile.
I am filled with love from God above,
I want to give it all to you.
In times like these life is filled with woe,
Sad hearts and faces walk the line,
Everyday is a gift filled with nothing but beauty,
Everything is the way it’s supposed to be.

We have got to let go of all this anger,
And shine like the stars in the sky.
Can’t allow hatred to creep in our hearts,
Or jealousy, or pride.
When you love someone, you’ve got to set them free,
Can’t close a fist over a soul.
Lets love each other, watch the beauty grow
Just open up & give.
And just give it all away.

Everyday is a gift filled with nothing but beauty,
Everything is the way it’s supposed to be.

11. Love or Money
featuring Caleb Jacobs on electric guitar, Nora Hartlaub on bass, Steven Magliano on Harmonica & backup vocals, Kim Mosher & Kevin McCabe on backup vocals
Nora and I wrote this one together on Ocracoke one afternoon while trying to figure out the meaning of marriage and why they work/fail. Our conclusion posed the quesiton: Do you want love or money? We both agreed: love.

As I was walking through the green fields,
I looked around me and I felt that still.
The quiet breeze brushed against my face.
It felt so good, wind in my hair.
Warm from the sun, filled up with love
With a couple of cold ones….
So I took my dress off and I ran into that breeze!

Do you want love?
Or do you want money?
Or do you want love?

Building a house on the country side
Got a few ponies for a sunset beach ride.
He bought it all except her heart.
They got a nice car,
They share a house
With a couple of kids
And a couple of dogs in a fenced in yard.
Now it’s the money that keeps them apart.

Do you want love?
Or do you want money?
Do you want love?
Or do you want money?
Or do you want love?

We’re drinking moonshine by the fire
We’re dancing all night long.
We weren’t put on the earth for money
We were put here to love
We weren’t put on the earth for money
We were put here to love everyone.

So do you want love?
Or do you want money?

12. Do You Smile?
featuring Caleb Jacobs on electric guitar & bass, Steve Magliano on harmonica
this one was written when I was jamming with a bunch of dudes in Greenville, NC-we called ourselves Unherd…..It was fun at the time, but pretty lame for the most part. Actually, I try to block that memory....but at least a song I like came out of it!

Do you smile when you smile?
Or do you just laugh away the pain?
Do you feel when there’s nothing left to feel?
Or do you just walk away?
When I’m down I guess I find my inner strength
I pick myself up off the ground.
And I feel everything so strongly,
I fly so high and then I fall down.
I fly so high and then I hit the ground, and say:
Ohh…

Do you give when you take?
Or do you just rob those around you blind?
Do you love when you love?
Or do you just fuck around with someone’s mind?
When I give, I give 110% and then ask do you want more.
When I love, I’ll give you a blast of me,
If you can’t take it you can hit the door
If you can’t take it you can hit the door, for sure
And say oh…..

Keep it up cuz,
Cuz I know you feel the same,
Do you laugh at the pouring rain?
I can’t deny it..

13. White Bread
featuring Nora Hartlaub on bass, Steve Magliano on sax
I wrote the 1st half of this song for my friends wedding in Fayetteville, NC. I sang it all shaky during the church service trying not to ‘lose it’. After that, I forgot about it and didn’t come back to the song for 6 years. By that time, they were divorced, and I kept repeating the cycle of dating the same type of jerky guy over & over again. So this song is split between the 1st half being about the start of a beautiful marriage, and the 2nd half about what I was going through at the time combined with my perception of how they felt through their divorce. Such happiness, yet such sorrow…such is life.…ahhh...

I see you over there and I feel your presence in my air.
You look at me as I look at you, we don’t see our eyes,
We see deep truth.
I feel your eyes slide up my thighs as I
Touch your hair.
People look at this love we have,
We just spread it around like jelly
On toasted white bread, white bread.

And we are together every single day
And we’ll stay together for the rest of our lives,
Our gaze, no it won’t be broken
and our smile won’t get torn apart,
so come with me baby, can’t you see,
this love it stems from the bottom of my heart.

I feel you inside of me as I get lost inside of you.
Breathing you in & breathing me out
Is all I feel as I dance in your spirit.
I love you enough to let you go,
The palm of my hand is held wide open.
Hopefully soon you will come back to me
And we’ll be surrounded by peace and harmony.

And we can be together every single day
And can stay together for the rest of our lives,
Our gaze, no it won’t be broken
and our smile won’t get torn apart,
so come with me baby, can’t you see,
this love it stems from deep inside my heart.

But there’s no pressure in this here car wash baby.
I don’t expect anything from you.

I see you over there and I feel your presence in my air.

14. In the Studio featuring Nora Hartlaub on bass, Emily Devan on cello, Chip Jones on drums
In the winter of ’05 on Ocracoke, Nora came over, we made coffee and went to my room with our instruments to ‘write a song’…we wanted it to be about the dedication it takes to be an artist/musician, & all the time one must spend ‘in the studio.’ we came up with the melody of the music, then I took it and turned it into to what it became…

Lets do it till we get it right,
Lets take it back one more time,
Lets do it till we get it right.
Lets hold up our lives in a picture show,
Lets break the boundaries we all know,
Lets teach each other how to grow.
Lets form our thoughts into a plan,
Lets get together & take a stand.
This world’s a playground for ideas.

Break from the comfort zone
Create life in the unknown,
We can’t be afraid of change.
Gotta keep it together in the studio
Can’t let no one get me off track
That means no relationships, no..

Lets use these thoughts that we have
To do the best that we can
We need each other more than we know.
Lets burn these fluorescent lights,
Take a deep breath and play outside
Get healthy bodies and happy minds.
And lets not sit through this next century
Watching others live inside the TV.
Lets explore and do it all.

Break from the comfort zone
Create life in the unknown,
We can’t be afraid of change.
Gotta keep it together & live this life
I want to see, I want to do it all
And no one can hold me back, no.

Break from the comfort zone
Sort out the truth from the lies,
And be self actualized.
Got to do the best that we can
And submit into our plan
We are as free as we choose to be…

15. Springer’s Point
featuring Caleb Jacobs on bass & electric guitar, Steve Magliano on sax, Doug Leal on percussion
Nora & I wrote this one together at Samuel Jone’s grave in Springer’s Point, a maritime forest on Ocracoke, NC. That’s my favorite spot on the island, and this poem came to me as we were sitting there, followed by the music we came up with for it.

Jumping over, climbing under
Through the starlit trees.
On the path of recognition
Of what I’ve seen in my dreams.
Muddy feet, scraped up arms,
Spirits guiding me.
Don’t know much about this island
Except what they show me.

16. Rocky
featuring Caleb Jacobs on bass, the crickets on Hatteras Island. Decided to name this instrumental ‘Rocky’ because it reminded me of the movie (for whatever reason?)